Pet Blogs
SC&A like animals.
For some of you, this, may come as a shock: animals do not blog.
We understand the thrapeutic benefits a pet can have on an individual or family. We wholeheatedly agree that taking care for and even loving an pet can be an important part of one's life- the resposibility and lessons learned are important.
Now in case you missed the already stated point of this piece, we want to again remind you: animals do not blog.
Changing kitty litter or getting your mangy dog to crap outside does not in any way constitute brilliance on your part or brilliance on the part of your pet. It is not the equivalent of teaching your child to look both ways before crossing the street. That's right, we said it. Your animal is not an equivalent to a child. OK, so we've managed to offend a few of you that really do believe an animal-human relationship is the equivalent to a human-human relationship. That said, if you indeed believe that, you're an idiot.
Writing a blog in a cat/dog/hamster/fish voice is entertaining only to yourself and that small galaxy of morons who feel the need to do the same.
If the rest of us don't really care about what you have to say in your personal blog (trust us here, we don't. Having a second blog written by/about a pet is a fair indicator of that), why on earth would you think we care about the imaginary conversations you have with Fluffy or Spot? If we don't think your child learning to crap into into a porcelain bowl is riveting Pulitzer Prize material, it is a safe bet that reading about your feelings on a certain brand of kitty litter or your pet's favorite made-in-China toy will not be adapted into a major motion picture screenplay.
If we have the uncontrollable urge to read about skeins of wool, there are knitting blogs aplenty that can calm that jonesing need, without seeing little itty bitty kittens frolicking, entagled in that skein of wool, trapped in paper bag or playing with tinsel. Those activities are not unique to your pet.
Let me ask you wannabe Dr. Doolittle's- if it were a child entangled in string, in a paper grocery sack or had it's head in a toilet bowl, would you encourage the child to play while you dug out the camera or video-cam (please, please say no)?
Posting picture of your pet is another revealing aspect of your sorry ass selves.
Now hear this: cats, dogs, fish, etc., are like Volkswagons (and babies)- if you've seen one, you've seen them all. That's right. Digital images of your pet, so lovingy posted on your blog or website, are like posting images of rocks. There are only so many angles from which a rock is fascinating. While the rock may hold a certain fascination for you, it does not hold that same fascination for the rest of us.
You can delude yourself into believing you have conversations with your pet (see us for extended therapy), but in the end, you are not really having a conversation with Fluffy. You see (brace yourselves), you cannot have a conversation with an animal. All the animal wants to do is crap and be fed whenever it can manipulate you into doing so. Can an animal love you? Yes, of course. The animal can be affectionate, caring and even protective- because you provide a place for the animal to crap and feed it on schedule or on demand (don't feed Fluffy for a while and see how loving and caring Fluffy becomes).
The animal does not care if your PMS is particularly severe this month. The animal does not care that your work leaves you 'unfulfilled' or that your miserable and uncaring boyfriend/girlfriend isn't responding to your needs (ask yourself if maybe your unhealthy attachment to your animal might have something to do with that).
Further, the fact that the animal sleeps with you, cuddles with you or has to be in the room/out of the room when certain indoor activities take place, is not a sign of a well balanced individual (deny it all you want, but you know that is true). It is not the animal that needs to have certains needs fulfilled- it you that needs to respond in a certain (strange and unhealthy) way.
We could go on and on, but we're sure by now you get the picture.
For some of you, this, may come as a shock: animals do not blog.
We understand the thrapeutic benefits a pet can have on an individual or family. We wholeheatedly agree that taking care for and even loving an pet can be an important part of one's life- the resposibility and lessons learned are important.
Now in case you missed the already stated point of this piece, we want to again remind you: animals do not blog.
Changing kitty litter or getting your mangy dog to crap outside does not in any way constitute brilliance on your part or brilliance on the part of your pet. It is not the equivalent of teaching your child to look both ways before crossing the street. That's right, we said it. Your animal is not an equivalent to a child. OK, so we've managed to offend a few of you that really do believe an animal-human relationship is the equivalent to a human-human relationship. That said, if you indeed believe that, you're an idiot.
Writing a blog in a cat/dog/hamster/fish voice is entertaining only to yourself and that small galaxy of morons who feel the need to do the same.
If the rest of us don't really care about what you have to say in your personal blog (trust us here, we don't. Having a second blog written by/about a pet is a fair indicator of that), why on earth would you think we care about the imaginary conversations you have with Fluffy or Spot? If we don't think your child learning to crap into into a porcelain bowl is riveting Pulitzer Prize material, it is a safe bet that reading about your feelings on a certain brand of kitty litter or your pet's favorite made-in-China toy will not be adapted into a major motion picture screenplay.
If we have the uncontrollable urge to read about skeins of wool, there are knitting blogs aplenty that can calm that jonesing need, without seeing little itty bitty kittens frolicking, entagled in that skein of wool, trapped in paper bag or playing with tinsel. Those activities are not unique to your pet.
Let me ask you wannabe Dr. Doolittle's- if it were a child entangled in string, in a paper grocery sack or had it's head in a toilet bowl, would you encourage the child to play while you dug out the camera or video-cam (please, please say no)?
Posting picture of your pet is another revealing aspect of your sorry ass selves.
Now hear this: cats, dogs, fish, etc., are like Volkswagons (and babies)- if you've seen one, you've seen them all. That's right. Digital images of your pet, so lovingy posted on your blog or website, are like posting images of rocks. There are only so many angles from which a rock is fascinating. While the rock may hold a certain fascination for you, it does not hold that same fascination for the rest of us.
You can delude yourself into believing you have conversations with your pet (see us for extended therapy), but in the end, you are not really having a conversation with Fluffy. You see (brace yourselves), you cannot have a conversation with an animal. All the animal wants to do is crap and be fed whenever it can manipulate you into doing so. Can an animal love you? Yes, of course. The animal can be affectionate, caring and even protective- because you provide a place for the animal to crap and feed it on schedule or on demand (don't feed Fluffy for a while and see how loving and caring Fluffy becomes).
The animal does not care if your PMS is particularly severe this month. The animal does not care that your work leaves you 'unfulfilled' or that your miserable and uncaring boyfriend/girlfriend isn't responding to your needs (ask yourself if maybe your unhealthy attachment to your animal might have something to do with that).
Further, the fact that the animal sleeps with you, cuddles with you or has to be in the room/out of the room when certain indoor activities take place, is not a sign of a well balanced individual (deny it all you want, but you know that is true). It is not the animal that needs to have certains needs fulfilled- it you that needs to respond in a certain (strange and unhealthy) way.
We could go on and on, but we're sure by now you get the picture.
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