Romance, Biology And Just Maybe, The Soul
A few days ago, we wrote a post based on something Sadie, author of Fistful of Fortnights, wrote, Welcome To The Jungle, Baby.
essentially, Sadie said that romance involved risk. We agreed with her and elaborated in our post. We posited that the path to real romance was made easier with the understanding that relationships based on shared values, as opposed to shared interests we more likely to result in a more profound and deeper relationship- in other words, real romance, and not just the trappings of romance.
That said, we cannot ignore the reality that the role of sexual attraction plays in the dance .
Sexuality is a subject that is primal. There is no such thing as neutrality on the matter. We all have our own sexual identities and personalities. Those personalities have been formed by way of nature and nurture. We have been influenced at home, in school and by the prevailing culture, and our own tentative forays into what would shape and influence most of all- our own experiences.
The foundations for most of human sexuality are evident. Science, via an encyclopedia on sexuality, presents a clear case, based on biological or evolutionary principles. Our sexual drive is one driven toward reproduction, perpetuation of the species or any other of thousand such theories. The male searches for the most fertile of women and the female searches for the male that will provide the healthiest of sperm, and that is strong enough to protect and care for the young.
Romance, is in effect, reduced to the mating dance that serves biological nature. The mystique, the beauty and even what is perceived to be sensuality, is in effect the dances that serves the greater purpose, that primal need to procreate. Nature will always prevail and dominate- using whatever it can to serve the primal needs
Of course, we don't see ourselves as simply components that manufacture our offspring, so we attach great importance to the romance that surrounds that reality. There is some other component that we have, as humans, that have conspired to make the union, biology and evolution greater than the sum of it's parts.
There is a mystical component- that is, something we cannot quantify. That component does not detract from the primal nature. Rather, it enhances it.
The mechanical aspects of sexuality take care of themselves- we need barely pay attention once the mechanics are met. The mystical aspects of sexuality are clearly what defines us as a species. This is where the texture and nuance of who we are, as separate and distinct from the mechanical act, will define who we are.
Human beings regard their sexuality as a search for the complete and whole self, the 'who we are,' as individuals and as part of a relationship. We seem to instinctivley know that we are part of something greater when we are with the 'right one.' In fact, we refer to partners 'fulfilling each other' or 'becoming as one' throughout religious and literary accounts. It is something we instinctively know and understand.
This is not to imply that as individuals, we are incomplete. Just the opposite is true- in a good and healthy relationship, both partners are already complete. They know who they are and what their values are. It is when they are together, that their potential is reached. That shared sexuality takes on a entire new dimension. The act, or mechanics are the same, but with the right partner, the differences are profound. That is understood and few, if any, need that explained. As we said in our referred to post, shared interests are in no way as profound a basis to build a life in common, as are shared values. Those shared values are what builds a greater whole.
What is that greater whole? Many say it is an expression of the divine, of the reflection of our being 'in His image.' Whether or not you see or accept that, there is no question that in a good relationship, we are strengthened with and by each other- the coming together of masculine and feminine strengths.
In truth, the drive to find that profound relationship is just as great- if not greater than the need to procreate. We need each other, for each other. Together, man and woman find a higher meaning than they could on their own, because in the end, as nature dictates, we are meant to be together. This need, to be together, is the soul of human sexuality. Our need to procreate is the instinct of human sexuality. In truth, it is the soul of human sexuality that drives us. It gives us meaning.
Sexual attractions are a part of life. We don't always act upon them- that after all is an animal. primal like reaction. We are selective. It is in understanding that we need to be selective for our benefit and the benefit of society, that defines us.
If we understand that in the end, it is our values and not our interests that can bind us together and bind us to something greater, then we can indeed reach a level of understanding, closeness and real growth, as individuals and together, that will last a lifetime.
essentially, Sadie said that romance involved risk. We agreed with her and elaborated in our post. We posited that the path to real romance was made easier with the understanding that relationships based on shared values, as opposed to shared interests we more likely to result in a more profound and deeper relationship- in other words, real romance, and not just the trappings of romance.
That said, we cannot ignore the reality that the role of sexual attraction plays in the dance .
Sexuality is a subject that is primal. There is no such thing as neutrality on the matter. We all have our own sexual identities and personalities. Those personalities have been formed by way of nature and nurture. We have been influenced at home, in school and by the prevailing culture, and our own tentative forays into what would shape and influence most of all- our own experiences.
The foundations for most of human sexuality are evident. Science, via an encyclopedia on sexuality, presents a clear case, based on biological or evolutionary principles. Our sexual drive is one driven toward reproduction, perpetuation of the species or any other of thousand such theories. The male searches for the most fertile of women and the female searches for the male that will provide the healthiest of sperm, and that is strong enough to protect and care for the young.
Romance, is in effect, reduced to the mating dance that serves biological nature. The mystique, the beauty and even what is perceived to be sensuality, is in effect the dances that serves the greater purpose, that primal need to procreate. Nature will always prevail and dominate- using whatever it can to serve the primal needs
Of course, we don't see ourselves as simply components that manufacture our offspring, so we attach great importance to the romance that surrounds that reality. There is some other component that we have, as humans, that have conspired to make the union, biology and evolution greater than the sum of it's parts.
There is a mystical component- that is, something we cannot quantify. That component does not detract from the primal nature. Rather, it enhances it.
The mechanical aspects of sexuality take care of themselves- we need barely pay attention once the mechanics are met. The mystical aspects of sexuality are clearly what defines us as a species. This is where the texture and nuance of who we are, as separate and distinct from the mechanical act, will define who we are.
Human beings regard their sexuality as a search for the complete and whole self, the 'who we are,' as individuals and as part of a relationship. We seem to instinctivley know that we are part of something greater when we are with the 'right one.' In fact, we refer to partners 'fulfilling each other' or 'becoming as one' throughout religious and literary accounts. It is something we instinctively know and understand.
This is not to imply that as individuals, we are incomplete. Just the opposite is true- in a good and healthy relationship, both partners are already complete. They know who they are and what their values are. It is when they are together, that their potential is reached. That shared sexuality takes on a entire new dimension. The act, or mechanics are the same, but with the right partner, the differences are profound. That is understood and few, if any, need that explained. As we said in our referred to post, shared interests are in no way as profound a basis to build a life in common, as are shared values. Those shared values are what builds a greater whole.
What is that greater whole? Many say it is an expression of the divine, of the reflection of our being 'in His image.' Whether or not you see or accept that, there is no question that in a good relationship, we are strengthened with and by each other- the coming together of masculine and feminine strengths.
In truth, the drive to find that profound relationship is just as great- if not greater than the need to procreate. We need each other, for each other. Together, man and woman find a higher meaning than they could on their own, because in the end, as nature dictates, we are meant to be together. This need, to be together, is the soul of human sexuality. Our need to procreate is the instinct of human sexuality. In truth, it is the soul of human sexuality that drives us. It gives us meaning.
Sexual attractions are a part of life. We don't always act upon them- that after all is an animal. primal like reaction. We are selective. It is in understanding that we need to be selective for our benefit and the benefit of society, that defines us.
If we understand that in the end, it is our values and not our interests that can bind us together and bind us to something greater, then we can indeed reach a level of understanding, closeness and real growth, as individuals and together, that will last a lifetime.
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