From The Author of SC&A: Time To Keep My Part Of The Bargain

As readers of The Anchoress know, she has been challenged with a series formidable health obstacles as of late. These were serious health issues, not matters to be trifled with.

Thankfully, one of the medical issues has been resolved. A tumor has been found to be benign.

Over the last few weeks, I, as have many others, far more worthy, have been praying for The Anchoress. In my prayers, weak as someone such as myself might be, I did what should not be done- I made a bargain with God. If He looked out for The Anchoress and her family, I would write a post on prayer. As a rule, I keep my religious beliefs to myself. I do not hide my faith in God- in fact, I embrace it, always. Still, I keep my faith personal. Rarely, if ever, do I talk about it. It is very difficult for me to discuss these matters. For me, faith isn't just personal, it is intimate.

I made that bargain with God because after reading an Anchoress post, Listen, I became aware of a quiet dignity that I had not seen for a quite a while. In my hubris and self absorption, I forgot what real dignity was. I used to think real dignity was exemplified in good works for others, as if that would make up for my own shortcomings. A bit of time doing for others, would act as the salve on those shortcomings. I had forgotten that real dignity comes from within, and that what others see is merely a reflection of that. I also came to realize that works themselves can become prayers, if offered in humility rather than with a sense of self importance.

I have not always been a good Christian, or even a good person - I have done terrible, dark things in my day, things for which I have humbly begged forgiveness. I have never believed that I was owed some slack for my behavior simply because of the nearly Dickensian situations of my earliest years. I certainly know what I have done and, as the psalmist says, “[my sin] is ever before me.

Yesterday morning, though, came a straw I have dreaded my whole life, and I finally drew it: the you are losing your hearing straw.

“It is not enough that I must sometimes use a cane, or that I wear glasses, not enough that I am constantly bruised, often fatigued into stupidity and inarticulate, stammering aphasia, not enough that my body is scarred all over and that my skin is under seige simply because I am Irish…now I am going to need hearing aids? Now I am going to be deaf? What has my husband ever done to you, that you need to inflict this sort of wife upon him?

Oh, I howled. I ranted.

And then, I remembered that my sons are both musicians. And I wept.

It i’s cruel, too cruel. I've appreciated irony all my life. But my sons are both musicians. And I am going deaf.

I read the entire post, every morning, because from the depths of that exquisite anguish, comes the realization that inner peace is always within our reach. I would urge you to read that post.

The lessons I have learned from this woman's experiences have inspired me to come to understand prayer better than I have before.

Prayer certainly isn't for God. With or without our devotions, His power is constant.

Prayer isn't even necessarily for the object of our prayers, be that ourselves or others. That may sound cruel, but it is true. The universe God created was for all of us, not just one of us. While we are each important in God's eyes, we are part of a community of man, a family. There are times when individual and specific prayers appear to go unanswered, yet in truth, the community is served. The universe is a delicate balance, in which time, events in the present, past and future all factor into that balance.

We are finite creatures, with limited capacity, attempting to connect with the infinite God.

Prayer is our Jacob's ladder, the bottom firmly planted on the ground, while at same time, at the top of that same ladder, angels and other Godly apparitions are found.

It is through prayer and the physical embodiment of prayer, good works, that we ascend the ladder, rung by rung. Through prayer, we connect our small, finite selves, with the infinite. While the base of our ladder may be firmly rooted on the ground, a necessary requirement, it is clear that on our own Jacob's ladder, the higher portions are rooted in a spiritual place. The highest rungs on that ladder reach into the Heavens, the spiritual heights to which we aspire- the Infinite.

Reaching out to God can be a very scary thing. Most often, when we reach high places we are told not to look down, despite the instinct to retreat to the familar- and lower, ground. The same is true of prayer, and consequently, ourselves. Our aspirations and prayers must go ever higher. We cannot afford to 'look down' or lower the expectations we might have of ourselves. We must look to the future, not to the past, to find our better selves.

Political leaders often refer to the 'shining lights on the hill', or say, 'Our best days are yet to come.' In fact, those words echo the prayers of mankind. Our destiny is clear if we understand in which direction we are headed. It is better to be on a low rung, headed upwards, than it is to be on a higher rung, descending.

The Anchoress spends much of her time demanding from us that we ascend in our prayers, that combination of values, morals and good works, so that we may grow in our quest to find the best in ourselves.

It is clear now that she, and what she stands for, has found favor in God's eyes. For that, we rejoice with her family and community.

May The Anchoress be quickly parted from all that would detract her and keep her from her good works.

May she, and her family, be blessed with that special inner peace, that is granted only from Above.