SC&A Address The Grads Of Stupid University On Iraq
"To the Class of 2006- and every other other graduate of Stupid University, we say, congratulations on the likelihood that you are likely able to read. We do not expect you to be able to read beyond an eighth grade level, of course. You are after all, graduates of Stupid University and most of you read and worship the words of Kos, Democratic Underground and Wonkette. That is like attempting to get educated by listening to Betty Friedan tapes or Johnny Rotten albums backwards, at half speed, and believing that alone will prepare you for medical school and the lead position on the first brain transplant team, or into the White House.
Most of you have not read Shakespeare or Byron. You cannot spell Hyperion, believing instead that your travel agent can- so you do not care. As long as you have trophies for scoreless soccer and even bigger ones for 'excelling' at self esteem, you will be able to happily breeze through life, buying coordinated 'Bed-in-a Bag' linens and videotaping HGTV. Your politics will be forever defined by Howard Dean and will debate who had better hair, John Kerry or John Edwards. Those heated debates will go long into the night.
Now, pay attention because we are going to teach you something of value. We are going to tell you about Iraq. Shut up and listen and stop touching yourselves. You do not want to engage us in an argument, because we have forgotten more than you will ever know. Take 10 minutes to figure out what we just said.
Saddam Hussein was not a nice man. Saddam Hussein did not have any visible weapons of mass destruction when we went into Iraq. That is not to say he didn't have them- it is to say they may have been moved.
Put your hands down, we're not taking questions. You will listen and be less of an idiot when we are done, or you can leave now and remain the jumbo, whopper sized moron you are now.
That Saddam Hussein had no visible WMD's at the time we went in is irrelevant. That's like saying Charlie Manson should get a free pass because he no longer owns a guitar and painted school bus.
Saddam Hussein produced and used weapons of mass destruction. By every account, including the UN's, Saddam could have reconstituted his WMD programs at any time. Saddam buried much of his WMD hardware components- equipment used to produce chemical, biological and nuclear WMD- in secret places. No one buries and hides equipment that makes playdough, etch a sketch or Suzy Homemaker toy ovens.
Buried WMD components do not produce flowers or fruit. The only reason to bury WMD program hardware is to hide that hardware.
Saddam Hussein had not reformed and turned into an Arab Mother Teresa. Saddam Hussein displayed no contrition and did not choose to mend his ways. Saddam Hussein did support terror and terrorists and Saddam Hussein did maintain contact with Al Qaeda.
Shut up. We did not say that Saddam had anything to do with 9/11. Neither did George Bush. That said, what do you think the odds are that Saddam would have warned the US, if had advance knowledge of that terrible attack? Do you believe the man that attempted to assassinate a US president, ran a network of rape rooms and then went on to gas his own people, would have the best interests of his hated enemy, the United States, at heart?
Are you that stupid? Some of you would bet on Saddam? And you want to know why you didn't get into Harvard? Do you understand now why only Stupid University would have you?
The whole world, including the multicultural UN, believed Saddam had either WMD's, WMD programs or components to manufacture WMD's. Got that?
Shut up, you're still idiots.
The most vociferous defense of Saddam Hussein came from countries that had the most to fear from a free Iraq- Arab countries. A full court press was utilized in the attempt to keep the liberation of Iraq from happening. Arab countries feared- and still fear- that a free and democratic Iraq might serve to undermine their own regimes.
Think about this, morons. For decades, Arab countries have tightly controlled the movement of people within their borders. No one left, no one came in, unless allowed to. How is it that so many 'foreign fighters' are managing to make their way across borders, to make their way into Iraq, 'without the knowledge of their governments'? Why can't the ancient communities of Jews and Christians seem to make their way out of regimes that persecute them and effectively hold them hostage? Jews and Christians cannot escape to find refuge, while terrorists seem to have travel passes to wherever they wish to go.
Countries that are tyrannical regimes are not our equals and their values and interests are noty the same as ours. That applies to Hugo Chavez, too.
Now that you have an obscured awareness of reality (real understanding will probably elude you forever), leave these these hallowed halls of learning and go on to demonstrate and throw rocks at Starbucks, McDonald's and KFC at the next G-7 Summit.
We are sure your knowledge of the economics of globalization far exceeds your knowledge of Iraq and the War of Terror?
Questions?
Sure, we'll be happy to address your inadequacies on the implications of terror- after lunch.
You do not merit our missing a meal.
Most of you have not read Shakespeare or Byron. You cannot spell Hyperion, believing instead that your travel agent can- so you do not care. As long as you have trophies for scoreless soccer and even bigger ones for 'excelling' at self esteem, you will be able to happily breeze through life, buying coordinated 'Bed-in-a Bag' linens and videotaping HGTV. Your politics will be forever defined by Howard Dean and will debate who had better hair, John Kerry or John Edwards. Those heated debates will go long into the night.
Now, pay attention because we are going to teach you something of value. We are going to tell you about Iraq. Shut up and listen and stop touching yourselves. You do not want to engage us in an argument, because we have forgotten more than you will ever know. Take 10 minutes to figure out what we just said.
Saddam Hussein was not a nice man. Saddam Hussein did not have any visible weapons of mass destruction when we went into Iraq. That is not to say he didn't have them- it is to say they may have been moved.
Put your hands down, we're not taking questions. You will listen and be less of an idiot when we are done, or you can leave now and remain the jumbo, whopper sized moron you are now.
That Saddam Hussein had no visible WMD's at the time we went in is irrelevant. That's like saying Charlie Manson should get a free pass because he no longer owns a guitar and painted school bus.
Saddam Hussein produced and used weapons of mass destruction. By every account, including the UN's, Saddam could have reconstituted his WMD programs at any time. Saddam buried much of his WMD hardware components- equipment used to produce chemical, biological and nuclear WMD- in secret places. No one buries and hides equipment that makes playdough, etch a sketch or Suzy Homemaker toy ovens.
Buried WMD components do not produce flowers or fruit. The only reason to bury WMD program hardware is to hide that hardware.
Saddam Hussein had not reformed and turned into an Arab Mother Teresa. Saddam Hussein displayed no contrition and did not choose to mend his ways. Saddam Hussein did support terror and terrorists and Saddam Hussein did maintain contact with Al Qaeda.
Shut up. We did not say that Saddam had anything to do with 9/11. Neither did George Bush. That said, what do you think the odds are that Saddam would have warned the US, if had advance knowledge of that terrible attack? Do you believe the man that attempted to assassinate a US president, ran a network of rape rooms and then went on to gas his own people, would have the best interests of his hated enemy, the United States, at heart?
Are you that stupid? Some of you would bet on Saddam? And you want to know why you didn't get into Harvard? Do you understand now why only Stupid University would have you?
The whole world, including the multicultural UN, believed Saddam had either WMD's, WMD programs or components to manufacture WMD's. Got that?
Shut up, you're still idiots.
The most vociferous defense of Saddam Hussein came from countries that had the most to fear from a free Iraq- Arab countries. A full court press was utilized in the attempt to keep the liberation of Iraq from happening. Arab countries feared- and still fear- that a free and democratic Iraq might serve to undermine their own regimes.
Think about this, morons. For decades, Arab countries have tightly controlled the movement of people within their borders. No one left, no one came in, unless allowed to. How is it that so many 'foreign fighters' are managing to make their way across borders, to make their way into Iraq, 'without the knowledge of their governments'? Why can't the ancient communities of Jews and Christians seem to make their way out of regimes that persecute them and effectively hold them hostage? Jews and Christians cannot escape to find refuge, while terrorists seem to have travel passes to wherever they wish to go.
Countries that are tyrannical regimes are not our equals and their values and interests are noty the same as ours. That applies to Hugo Chavez, too.
Now that you have an obscured awareness of reality (real understanding will probably elude you forever), leave these these hallowed halls of learning and go on to demonstrate and throw rocks at Starbucks, McDonald's and KFC at the next G-7 Summit.
We are sure your knowledge of the economics of globalization far exceeds your knowledge of Iraq and the War of Terror?
Questions?
Sure, we'll be happy to address your inadequacies on the implications of terror- after lunch.
You do not merit our missing a meal.
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