PMS And Mohammed Al Fayed

MHNN (London)-After the all the memorial services commemorating the death of Diana, Princess of Wales concluded, Mental Health News Network was afforded an exclusive interview with Mohammed el Fayed. The interview was conducted by Pat M Santy (PMS), former NASA organic waste in space specialist and developer of Santy's Panties, an integral part of former astronaut Lisa Nowak's travel wardrobe.

Santy is known as the author of the weekly Carnival Of The Insanities. She is also the first psychiatrist to lead a group session of Middle Eastern leaders. Transcripts from those sessions can be found here, here and here.

PMS- Thank you for spending some time with me, Mr Fayed.

MOFA- That's OK. Are you busy after the interview?

PMS- Please Mr Fayed, let's stick to the topic at hand.

MOFA- OK, but if you aren't busy, we could get together, slaughter a goat and have some couscous and vine leaves. There might even be a Harrod's discount card in it for you if you play your cards right.

PMS- Mr Fayed, do you still believe that Dodi and Diana were the victims of a murder conspiracy?

MOFA- Of course they were.

PMS- Who do you think was behind the conspiracy, and why?

MOFA- Well, it was either the MI-5 or the Mossad.

PMS- Why do you think that?

MOFA- Well, if it was the Mossad, it is because they are Jews. If it was MI-5, it was because they didn't want the mother of the heir to the throne to be married to a Muslim.

PMS- Why would the Mossad want Diana dead?

MOFA- Because they are Jews. They want everyone dead. That is all they think about, morning noon and night. They want to kill everyone.

PMS- You know, that does sound a bit paranoid.

MOFA- You don't understand. Would you mind moving to another chair, the one between me and the window?

PMS- Do you really believe that all Jews wake up everyday and focus on killing everyone in the world? Do you really believe that they think about that instead of thinking about their families, their work, their children, their community and so on. Do you really believe that all Jews are obsessed with killing everyone to the detriment of everything else in their lives?

MOFA- You misunderstood me. I did not mean to say that all Jews climb out of bed each morning and focus on killing everyone in the world. Clearly, they do not. To believe that is absurd! They only focus on killing all Arab and Muslims.

PMS- You do realize that most Jews don't care about Arabs and Muslims, right?

MOFA- How could they or anyone else not care about us? We are Arabs and Muslims, the center of the universe! They have to care about us!

PMS- Moving right along. If it wasn't the Mossad that was behind the conspiracy, why would MI-5 agree to murdering Diana?

MOFA- Because the Palace wanted her dead. The Queen shook the hands of too many Jews and she became infected.

PMS- But you said it was because the Royal Family didn't want the mother of the heir to the throne to be a Muslim. What does that have to do with Jews?

MOFA- I thought you were supposed to be smart. The British and Christian world has never had a problem with Muslim empire building, or being subject to Islamic laws. It is the Jews that have poisoned their minds. That is why there was 9/11.

PMS- Are you saying 9/11 was a response to the Christian world?

MOFA- Don't you understand anything? 9/11 was a plot devised by the Jews and the Americans to make it appear as if the Muslim world were responding! It was the Jews and the Americans, don't you see?

PMS- So let me get this straight. You believe that 9/11 was a Jewish and American conspiracy. The fact that there is all this evidence and acknowledgment by Osama bin Laden to his culpability, means nothing.

MOFA- Exactly! Besides, everyone knows that Osama really works for the CIA and the CIA really works for the Mossad. You know this is pretty simple stuff.

PMS- So what you are saying is that the Arab and Muslim world would not attack of their own accord.

MOFA- Exactly.

PMS- What about Zarqawi, Zawahiri, and all the others that threaten America and the west.

MOFA- The Mossad manufactures those tapes. I know for a fact Ayman al Zawahiri sless playground equipment in Waziristan and that Zarqawi was only interested in opening up a chain of Petsmarts in Iraq.

PMS- Going back to Diana and the night of the crash. Henri Paul was drunk. Might that not have been a cause of the crash?

MOFA- Who said he was drunk? The French Police? The FRENCH Police? The Frech also claim they came up with the pasteurization process. Everyone knows the Arabs invented that process in 722.

PMS- The autopsy proved he was drunk.

MOFA- Another Mossad conspiracy!

PMS- But there is video of Henri Paul drinking earlier that evening.

MOFA- The Mossad set that up.

PMS- Any last words?

MOFA- We know a small Fiat was in the tunnel just before the car crashed. There are witnesses that saw a small white dog with it's head out the window of that car. That dog has been identified.

PMS- Really?

Mofa- Yes, a top secret Arab satellite launched from Yemen sent back photographic images from Tel Aviv. A known Mossad agent was seen walking the very same dog noted in the Paris tunnel- the final proof!

Thank you for your time, Mr Fayed. Might I suggest the Carnival Of The Insanities?

MOFA- Are you sure you don't want to slaughter a goat and have some couscous?