Romantic Illusions And The Higher Self

What makes the 'magic' between men and women? Is the connection real or do we unwittingly conspire with nature so that we might reproduce?

Does the romance, music, starlight and quiet shared moments with a beloved transcend our physical selves or do those things actually feed our physicality?

It would be easy to say that sexuality is the principal fuel that drives us as a species. We are all sexual by nature. We all have a need to express our sexuality and we each have our own sexual identity. That identity develops over a lifetime, formed by our experiences first at at home and then in school and later on, with the passage of time and maturation. All those things are influenced by sexuality as defined by popular culture and an ever changing society.

Human sexuality can be looked at from two vantage points. We can see ourselves as biological beings only or we can see ourselves as uniquely human- that is, as a species with more than just a biological predicate.

If we see and understand ourselves as biological entities only, our sexuality is easy to explain. We are meant to propagate. The biological and evolutionary dictates are clear. We are meant to perpetuate the species. Whatever romance and closeness we feel toward our mates is no more than nature's way of attempting to trick us into having children, staying together and having more children. In natures playbook, the male of the species will seek out the most fertile of women and women will seek out the male that is healthy and virile and willing to protect and nurture the family unit.

According to those who hold the biological/evolution theories as primary, the love, the intimacy and the closeness are all illusions, tricks nature plays on us to keep men and women together. Nature finds ways to hide the truth those truths. The romance, the mystique, the intimacy and the bond shared by two loving adults are no more than a transitory mirage.

Of course, even the most 'enlightened' of progressives thinkers are loathe to think of themselves as biological robots, programmed to be nothing more than baby making machines, tricked by nature into a phony 'relationship.' No one wants to believe that they are being duped- that the love and intimacy they feel are no more than biological sleights of hand. Romance and mystique it seems, are nothing more than illusions meant to keep us on the journey.

From a biological or evolutionary view, nature is neither cruel ore cold. Courtship and romance are to the human species what scent marking is to the animal kingdom, right? The bio/evolutionists will tell you that is an absolute truth. Nature is relentless. Whatever it takes to bring a male and female together, a way will be found. Nature will not be denied.

Of course, not everyone sees human sexuality and sexual attraction in the same way. For some people, human sexuality expressed is more than mechanical and more than a trick of nature. For them, sexuality is an expression of their higher selves.

The higher self is always an awareness of the 'other.' As we express our higher selves, sexually or otherwise, we become aware of the 'other.' The sexuality expressed by ourselves becomes part of a greater sexuality and a greater awareness of our own and our partner's 'higher self.' In a healthy relationship, we yearn not only for what is best and most pleasurable for ourselves but also what is best and most pleasurable for those with whom we are most intimate. We want those feelings and pleasures to be most unique and most intimate, unable to be duplicated with another. That is the feeling of 'completeness' and oneness that people often feel. Those feelings are outside the realm of the bio/evolutionists. Those feelings transcend the biological reality- together, we become greater than we would be by ourselves.

With real intimacy comes a real oneness and singularity that transcends the biological imperative. With that real intimacy that transcends the biological drives, we find our higher selves. We find ways to communicate in ways outside the physical expression. We come to understand that the most powerful expressions of intimacy are outside the physical realm.

For many people, that kind of intimacy, outside the physical and biological boundaries are the real sexual attractants. Some people find their sexual attractions on a 'soullular' plane. They experience the same physical sensations and the same attractions as everyone else. For them however, the genesis of those feelings are found in the higher self and in the higher self of the other. They yearn for sexual expression, but they yearn for that in conjunction with an intimacy that is found outside the purely physical intimacies. They want a spiritual component to their union and will be satisfied with nothing less.

Sexuality does indeed exist for the purpose of creating life, but that is not the only purpose of our sexual; natures. In reality, it is with a spiritual context that the healthiest of sexual expressions and families are anchored. A family wherein spirituality and sexuality are found are families that are the most evolved and most progressive. Within those families are humans with higher ideals and higher aspirations. They are families in which the higher self is expressed.