Out Of Work With Joe The Jerk

MHNN (Ann Arbor, MI)-Barack Obama and his newly named candidate for Vice President traveled to Ann Arbor last night to meet with Pat M Santy former NASA Flight Surgeon and author of Carnival Of The Insanities. The organic waste in space disposal expert was asked to meet with Democrat candidate and his running mate after a series of minor gaffes threatened to upend the Democrat Party momentum. Concerned that recent revelations about John Edwards, Bill Ayers, Tony Rezko and the release of documents by the University of Chicago pertaining to the Annenberg Project, might hurt the Democrat nominee. Those papers purport to show the relationship between Bill "I'm sorry I didn't kill more people" Ayers and Obama, who claimed he barely knew Ayers.

It is clear the Obama campaign wants to keep the focus on the upbeat Democrat Convention in Chicago. What follows is a transcript pf the meeting between Barack Obama (BO), Joe Biden (JB) and Pat M Santy (PMS).

PMS- Congratulations, Senators!

BO, JB- Thank you!

JB- We're ready to take on the Republicans! We will fight them wherever they are! We'll Figh them in the-

PMS- Didn't Churchill say that?

BO- Here we go-

PMS- Never mind that. Senator Obama, aren't you afraid that releasing the Annenberg Papers will provide fodder for your political opponents?

JB- We have nothing to fear but fear itself.

BO- Could you hold off for a while, Joe?

JB- Sure. Besides, good things come to those who wait.

BO- Look, we timed the release of the papers to coincide with the second night of the convention. Every one will watching the show and listening to the speeches.

PMS- Senator, the papers will be examined, closely. Whether it takes another day more or less isn't going to make a difference. If there is anything in those papers that is controversial, it will come out.

BO- As long as we have the positive momentum in out favor, we can weather the storm. After the convention, our opponents will be in disarray. They won't know which way to turn. Pancked opponets always make mistakes-

JB- Forgive them, for they know not what they are doing-

BO- Joe, please.

PMS- Well, for your sake, I hope you are right, but from where I sit, I don't think you'll skate by by unscathed.

BO- Politics is a rough sport-

JB- Well I say, winning isn't everything- it's the only thing. We're going to kick Republican butt.

BO- Joe, I'm afraid you can't do that in public- using quotes and speeches by others and claiming them as you own.

JB- What are you afraid of, Barack? C'mon, you have nothing to fear but fear itself.

BO- Great. Just great.

PMS- Surely you knew this would be an issue, Senator Obama.

BO- Of course I did. But he promised no more plagiarism.

PMS- And you believed him?

BO- Yes.

JB- Trust but verify.

BO- I wanted him as my runing mate because he's tough, a real tiger.

PMS- And you thought you could take a serial plagiarism offender at his word?

JB- A leopard cannot change it's spots.

PMS- You have a problem, Senator Obama.

BO- A Texas sized problem.

JB- Houston, we have a problem.

BO- To tell you the truth, another reason I picked Me Bartlett here is because I didn't want to select anyone who might outshine me. I wanted to pick someone barely competent- you know, like how Bill Clinton picked Madeleine Albright. Joe might be an ass, but he'll stay in the spotlight, for sure.

JB (laughing)- Stealing your thunder!

PMS- I can't help you. There are some things you cannot fix. Joe Biden is one of those things.

JB- It's not so bad. Even a broken clock is right twice a day. Besides, I have a higher IQ than you.

BO- And wrong the other 23 hours and 58 minutes.

PMS- If you can't contain your running mate, how will you be able to contain Putin and Ahmadenijad?

JB- The lunatics must not be allowed to take control of the asylum.

BO- What have I done? Is this how far politics has sunk?

JB- A politician is a statesman who approaches every question with an open mouth.

BO- Hey! That's pretty smart! Did you say that?

JB- No. Adlai Stevenson did.

BO- He lost.

JB- Because he was too busy making quotes as opposed to using them.

PMS- Start over. Read Carnival Of The Insanities.